London 2012 Olympic Games Diary: 1 August

What will hopefully be a gold rush for Team GB finally began today. Helen Glover and Heather Stanning got things moving with a powerful display in the womens’s coxless pairs. Then Bradley Wiggins, mutton chops and all, displayed all his smooth skills in the men’s individual time trial, whilst Chris Froome (I want to say vroom) took a bronze in the event.

Team GB also picked up a silver in the pool, earned by Michael Jamieson in the 200m breaststroke. Meanwhile the Team GB men’s football team progressed to the quarter-finals. After a stuttering start to the group Stuart Pearce’s men safely topped the table after beating Uruguay 1-0.

The badminton scandal continued as eight players were thrown out of the women’s doubles competition for trying to lose games, thus giving them more favourable draws in the next round. The two Chinese, four South Koreans, and two Indonesians were accused of ‘not using one’s best efforts to win’, which is a very polite way of saying ‘cheating’.

And finally, today was the day that Boris Johnson got suspended from a zip wire above London. Not as satisfying as it sounds but it does make him look like a demented pigeon waiting to shit over everyone. Which, to be fair, is not that far from the reality of this mop-haired lunatic. Can you imagine this guy with his finger on the nuclear trigger? Here’s the video. Watch and ponder.

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